Jeepers Creepers

For some reason people who are in relationships all of a sudden seem to be experts on being single. I get advice like, “take your time your still young”…compared to a 50 yr old I might be. “Your too picky”…If I have it together so should he. “Your always finding something wrong before you even meet them”…usually I’m right, they’re weirdos. “In time it will come”…I’ve been waiting for 34 years. “Fast never last, slow always goes”…any slower I’ll turn into a turtle. And my ultimate favorite advice, “relationships are overrated”…really because last I heard that’s what leads to marriage.

I get it relationships can be complicated and it’s not always easy sailing. However, I’m not winning any type of prize by staying single. Both relationship statuses have their pros and cons. I personally would like, “sex on the reg”…and would exchange it any day for my singlehood. Dating is fun and exciting but it can also be depressing, annoying, lonely, boring and to top it off I get the luxury of meeting weirdos. And to prove it, here are the best creeper lines of 2014. I still have the rest of the year so stay tuned as I’m sure this list will get longer!!!

  • Send me some pics. I’m undecided about you
  • Under 5 ft is such a turn on for me. Good job
  • You are so adorable, I want to adopt you
  • I’m living in this area because of my parole. I have to live in a half way house because of illegal gun possession
  • It’s hard for a man, I don’t know what they can say to stand out and grasp our attention
  • I’m not a photographer but I can picture you and me together
  • Your sooooper cute. I want to cuddle you
  • Your crazy
  • I once kissed a girl and she said she got wet, damn
  • I don’t date
  • I don’t get dressed up on dates, if you want to do that go out with your girls
  • I don’t do dates, I only take a girlfriend out
  • I should confess, I have 3 kids
  • Your very pretty, but I’ve dated prettier
  • Oh that’s not my real name, I made it up
  • Do you watch porn
  • I’ve been single for like 10 years
  • You’re racist
  • Have you had a three some
  • What color are you everywhere
  • What’s your favorite toy
  • How about we go 50/50
  • You missed out, I could of taken you to Outback Steakhouse
  • My cats would love you
  • *Today I wished someone new and interesting, could we exchange numbers
  • *Physically. ..smelling nice hair, full lips, soft skin, firm breast, an ass to grab onto, not small not big either, smooth vag and yes a nice smelling vag that gets soaked and wet and doesn’t look like roast beef.
  • Read some others from Friday Night Adventure

*These have been shared from friends of mine, who also encounter winners!

Updated 5/12/14

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3 thoughts on “Jeepers Creepers

  1. Oh my god! Really? There are some creepy one-liners in that list and some are downright rude. ‘Ive dated prettier’ haha I think someone has been reading ‘The Game.’

    Like

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