Yesterday, I had a conversation with a friend who is about 42+ years old and you guessed it, she is also single. She is accomplished, owns her company, intelligent and single mother of one. She began sharing her stories about the men she’s met, dated, and those she has decided to stay in contact with. These men are not young, they are of a mature age. Because of her busy schedule, she has resorted to online dating and I would have to agree that for her it’s probably the best option. She expressed how she has had no good luck, only disappointments but yet she isn’t ready to give up on finding love (sound familiar). As I’m quietly listening, I’m thinking holy shit nothing changes as one gets older. I’m screwed!!!!
Here were her bachelors:
Bachelor #1 – the Starving Artist; lives a plane ride away. He would be the perfect candidate except he doesn’t have a steady income and to see him would cost more than a nice pair of shoes. When a man asks, will you support me? You better run for the hills. If it was me I would of never entertained him but when you have a connection with someone I guess your heart is leading more than the brain.
Bachelor #2 – the Disappearing Act; Typical bad boy persona but camouflaged by his successful career, carefree mentality and a personality that meshes well with anyone. The catch, it took him a few months to confess that he was still married and in the middle of a divorce. He travels around the world without a care but yet dodges every chance to meet up with my friend. However, he still reaches out to her for conversation (texts). This type is the most intriguing but I know now in the long run this man would also not be a keeper. But he’s temporarily entertaining her and that works for her.
Bachelor #3 – the Charmer; Speaks eloquently and seduces her with his words. Has an art for painting a pretty picture that is very hard to not imagine oneself in it. The charmer only says what he wants her to hear but won’t commit to anything including taking her out on a date. His bait is to stay in communication even when she may not want to but who can ignore “good morning” text messages followed by “your beautiful” blah, blah, blah. Been there and done that, I can spot a con artist from a mile a way.
Bachelor #4 – the Mr. Nice Guy; I can’t speak for all women, but the ones I’ve encountered (including myself) claim that we can’t find a nice guy or that they are all taken or have fallen off the face of this planet. Reality is a handful are still out there but the problem is that they are “not our type.” Which typically means there is a lack of attraction and/or chemistry. I don’t think a man can ever be too nice but yet I know many of us really wish to find the perfect balance between a nice and bad boy type . (I highly doubt they exist). Since he was the nice guy, he actually asked her out on date. Towards the end of the date she said she felt no chemistry and that was the end of Mr. Nice Guy. I’ve also have been in this exact situation and have felt the same way. Hoping that he would grow on me by the end of the night, but I don’t dismiss him until I’m certain he is a wreck. If I see potential even though I feel no chemistry, I will take a risk.
I’m really trying to believe that all the Mr. Wrongs and Mr. Not Right Nows will lead me to what suits me best. One is still out there!