We all speak the same universal language of emotion. Whether it’s a short or long term relationship, when it ends we either feel like a huge rock has been lifted from our shoulders or deeply hurt because we didn’t anticipate it. Regardless of the reason, there is still a void in our hearts and a rollercoaster of emotions that takes place. There is no manual to advise us on how we move on or what to feel but what is a fact is that in time the heart does go on!!!
- are broken hearted
- feel guilt
- think it will never get better
- are disappointed
- question the relationship
- are devastated
- carry a heaviness in our hearts
- feel like it’s unbearable pain
- self doubt
- get angry
- get sad
- get drunk
- drunk text
- shut down
- lie to ourselves to provide comfort
- listen to music
- talk bad about the person
- can’t stop talking about the person
- write our feelings down
- vent to our friends
- become insecure
- think we will never find love
- replay the end over and over
- think of ways to fix it
- pretend to be robots
- become heartless
- sense of relief
Guess what?? In time,
- our heavy hearts heal
- we survive
- we refocus
- we are grateful
- we smile
- we regain happiness
- we become stronger
- we moved on
In the end we shed the armor suit that we are accustomed to wearing and open ourselves to love.
Welcome LOVE, and love deeply, passionately and most importantly genuinely.
By no means am I the perfect kisser, but I consider my self to be in the major leagues. I don’t think any of us are born with this talent. One perfects their technique and hopes that if you suck at it somebody gently helps you through it. And your probably asking how do I know I’m any good if I’ve never kissed myself?….Well I’ve been told I’m “aight”. So how important is kissing? Is it wrong to kiss on the first date? When is the right time to kiss?
For me kissing has always been important. It’s my indicator to know whether I want to drop it like it’s hot or give him the peace sign. It also gives me a sneak peek to see if we have chemistry on different levels. Don’t get me wrong this is not my only requirement to continue to date someone or even have as a boyfriend. I do take into account that first kisses are usually awkward and may be deceptive. Some may not be that good at it but have a heart of gold, others are like magicians and do exactly just that, disappear. Once I start to think about it, I come up with standard questions: Is he going to make the first move? Am I drunk enough to do it? Which direction is he going? Did we eat garlic? Which is why I tend not to think about it and hope that I’m surprised and if it’s the right timing I’ll go with the flow. Eventually, it just happens and you walk away with a devious smile or a disgusted feeling.
In my prime time, as long as I was attracted to the guy I would just want to tongue him down. Fast forward to the present and now I like to save the kissing phase for a little later. I say later because I don’t know if there is such a thing as the right time for a kiss, in my case I want the guy to make the first move…when stars and the moon are aligned. I don’t think kissing on the first date is wrong but for me I already have a hard time going on a second date, so why am I even going to do it to myself or leave him wanting more. I’m no prude, on occasions I’ve made bad decisions and exceptions but to my defense they were alcohol induced. You know that old phrase, “leave a little to the imagination”…well that’s what kissing does for me. I get excited not knowing when it will happen or if it will be any good.
What happens when the guy doesn’t kiss your style but at the same time he isn’t awful at it? In my opinion, If you aren’t grossed out then he has potential. I once told a guy jokingly, “more tongue please”. It then became our own little joke but he got what I was saying without me being mean and hurtful. I’ve dealt with another guy who straight out told me “I’m not into kissing”. I looked at him like he was Medusa and of course I ignored him and went for the kill since I knew he would never make the move. All I kept thinking was where the hell is his tongue? I made it my mission to get him to enjoy the art kissing. To make it fun, we played a game of hide and seek and then I bluntly asked him to show me his tongue. He laughed and said I have a short tongue. I wanted to stretch it out of his mouth but that would of been weird. All in all the kissing got better, it wasn’t fantastic but needless to say I stayed with him for a year. See, I do make exceptions!
The art of kissing is composed of many different styles and techniques or whatever you want to call them. I’ve come up with my own customized list and my favorite has to be what I call, passionate kissing. It’s the type of kiss that will make you quickly lower your inhibitions and forget any rules you may have bestowed upon him. If the guy doesn’t want a relationship, abort, abort (unless your on the same page as him). Men that are really good with passionate kissing, know what they are doing and lure you with their kisses. Before you know it, the passionate kiss turns into the rip your clothes off kiss which ultimately leads to the panty dropper kiss. Be forewarned, you may end up with only your bare essentials on your back!!! I can’t possibly go into all forms of kissing but here are a few others that I’ve encountered and some are like McDonald’s combo meal, mix and match:
- Overbearing kiss – the can you give the girl some time to catch her breath
- Slobbering/Drooling/Salivating kiss – gross, nobody needs more than your own saliva
- French kiss – aka tongue down, do old people still use tongue?
- Swallow kiss – this is not the below the waist kiss, its when it feels like your face is being swallowed in its entirety
- Shy kiss – the I know I’m supposed to do this you but no clue what to do
- Teeth banging kiss – the no matter which direction you go, teeth are always clashing
- Lizard kiss – self explanatory, google a lizard
- OCD kiss – the I don’t like to kiss but make exceptions for birthdays and holidays
- Porno/Sex kiss – the I don’t care what I do kiss as long as I land you
- Relationship kiss – sweet, gentle, tap, pecks any where
- Drunk and love kiss – my version of passionate kissing but with a lot of alcohol
That’s it folks!!! Share your encounters with kissing!!