Holiday Hiatus

It’s been a while since I’ve written anything that has had a comedy twist to it.  I’m going to quickly fast forward the last year.  I quit my long time career, started a new part time job in a hospital and moved back home  (with mommy and daddy) all for the love of education.  A huge move for me take make but I figured it’s either now or never and regret that I never did something about my true passion.  I decided to go back to school and get my bachelors in nursing!!!!  However, right before I got deep into cleaning poop and taking exams I had the luxury of having some memorable times that are worth blogging about.

I’m going to jump right into it and ask why have men become so damn lazy when it comes to dating? My initial thought was that maybe I had chosen  someone that was not very interested in me but the streak of picking Mr. Lazy-s kept going.  I continued to meet men that just wanted a typical “Netflix and Chill” type night. For those that haven’t heard this 2015 catch phrase, it’s making fun of men that pretend to be romantic and want to stay in and watch movie with a woman. But in reality that man doesn’t even have a Netflix account and his motive is not to watch a movie but use it as a distraction tool to rip a woman’s clothes off and “seduce” her with his package.  This technique is nothing new, it existed in my college days. But what I feel is different is the way men come about asking women to come over, it’s very blunt and direct without any tricks up their sleeves.  And I don’t completely think  its entirely the man’s fault, as I’m quite certain there are a few women out there that have encouraged this lackadaisical type of behavior and instead of pretending to watch a movie they rode the pony all night.

In all my years dating, I’ve questioned men’s motives for wanting to go on a date but never have I said that men where lazy or that all they wanted to do was land the deal.  Yes eventually that is the goal but at least least they had the decency to play along and pretend that they liked me.  But now, I don’t know why I consistently attract men that don’t want to do a damn thing.  One man invited me to come over and specifically told me to buy my own wine and bring it.  He was so lazy, he wanted me to get drunk on my own wine.  Another one asked me to come over after not seeing him for like three months.  And just to prove myself right the ones that I did feel comfortable in going over (okay they convinced me), well you guessed it there was no Netflix, they had old Blockbuster DVDs, some bootleg version of downloading movies, roommates lived with them, one lived in a basement with 1970s furniture and another one with designer plastic furniture. At 33+, if i’m going to be invited over at least have some IKEA furniture.

Is there something about me that has changed? Could it be my platinum blonde hair, the extra pounds I’ve put on, my yoga pants, or winged glasses that makes me a target for “yeah she is just fuck-able”.  I question if there is something that I’m putting out to the universe that is making men think that I’m not even worth a TGIF happy hour special.   I don’t understand it at all and has made dating even more discouraging than before. Or it could be very simple, these are just the wrong men and must keep digging to find the golden nugget.

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Seasoned Bachelors

Yesterday, I had a conversation with a friend who is about 42+ years old and you guessed it, she is also single.  She is accomplished, owns her company, intelligent and single mother of one.  She began sharing her stories about the men she’s met, dated, and those she has decided to stay in contact with.  These men are not young, they are of a mature age.  Because of her busy schedule, she has resorted to online dating and I would have to agree that for her it’s probably the best option.  She expressed how she has had no good luck, only disappointments but yet she isn’t ready to give up on finding love (sound familiar).  As I’m quietly listening, I’m thinking holy shit nothing changes as one gets older. I’m screwed!!!!

Here were her bachelors:

Bachelor #1 – the Starving Artist; lives a plane ride away.  He would be the perfect candidate except he doesn’t have a steady income and to see him would cost more than a nice pair of shoes.  When a man asks, will you support me?   You better run for the hills.  If it was me I would of never entertained him but when you have a connection with someone I guess your heart is leading more than the brain.

Bachelor #2 – the Disappearing Act;  Typical bad boy persona but camouflaged by his successful career, carefree mentality and a personality that meshes well with anyone.  The catch, it took him a few months to confess that he was still married and in the middle of a divorce.  He travels around the world without a care but yet dodges every chance to meet up with my friend.  However, he still reaches out to her for conversation (texts).  This type is the most intriguing but I know now in the long run this man would also not be a keeper.  But he’s temporarily entertaining her and that works for her.

Bachelor #3 – the Charmer; Speaks eloquently and seduces her with his words.   Has an art for painting a pretty picture that is very hard to not imagine oneself in it.  The charmer only says what he wants her to hear but won’t commit to anything including taking her out on a date.  His bait is to stay in communication even when she may not want to but who can ignore “good morning” text messages followed by “your beautiful” blah, blah, blah.  Been there and done that, I can spot a con artist from a mile a way.

Bachelor #4 – the Mr. Nice Guy;  I can’t speak for all women, but the ones I’ve encountered (including myself) claim that we can’t find a nice guy or that they are all taken or have fallen off the face of this planet.  Reality is a handful are still out there but the problem is that they are “not our type.”  Which typically means there is a lack of attraction and/or chemistry.  I don’t think a man can ever be too nice but yet I know many of us really wish to find the perfect balance between a nice and bad boy type .  (I highly doubt they exist).  Since he was the nice guy, he actually asked her out on date.   Towards the end of the date she said she felt no chemistry and that was the end of Mr. Nice Guy.  I’ve also have been in this exact situation and have felt the same way.  Hoping that he would grow on me by the end of the night, but I don’t dismiss him until I’m certain he is a wreck.  If I see potential even though I feel no chemistry, I will take a risk.

I’m really trying to believe that all the Mr. Wrongs and Mr. Not Right Nows will lead me to what suits me best.  One is still out there!